I feel a bit of a need to write. Since it seems like this forum is more broadly available for just posting out a persons thoughts instead of their happenings I think it will do me some good. 2011 has been a year of upgrades. I've done a lot of things, and sought to improve myself, my well being, and my life as a kind of existential exercise in what I am capable of. I've come a long way too.
I'm not knocking it. There is one improvement though, that is a serious sticking point for me. Weightloss. I find it mutually silly, and also very disheartening. I've dropped from a weight of 235lbs (106.5kg) to 195lbs (88.5kg). I started in March and the bulk of this weight was off by September- where I weighed 206. Like I said, I'm not knocking it. I've dropped enough weight to be able to run again (which I do a lot) and to be able to clip my toe nails (which not being able to do easily was the epiphany moment that got me started losing the weight).
But... there is an ancient history that goes back a decade ago when I started putting on the weight. The short version is that I weighed nearly 180lbs. and I was a lean, muscular dude who could go all day, and all night and not even think about it- but I could NOT seem to bulk up. I plateau'd. My exercise regimen was intense, but involved running, stairs, climbing, and swimming mostly- and I burned foods off almost as fast as I ate them as a result. So, conveniently, when I was ordered to stop going to the gym by a psychotic girlfriend who was convinced I'd meet someone better than her there, I quietly resolved that I would simply gain 10 lbs of fat then go back anyway.
But I never did.
Until now... and so my arbitrary target weightloss, as you may have mentally crunched the numbers for already, was 190. Which I'm 5lbs from... and which I have been 7-5 lbs from now for all of November. It's retarded to be upset but I just get so frustrated. I'm eating a lowered number of calories, I'm exercising like mad, I'm in great shape (I ran 7.5 miles yesterday- for fun), and I'm even pushing for high protein, low carbohydrate foods... and I just seem to not get anywhere.
Anyways, I just needed to get that off my chest. No one but my wife has even made the effort to be concerned with how it's going, or doing it along with me. And I really needed to just put it out there to read that I'm not crazy... er.